How To Win Friends And Influence People: Dale Carnegie

How to win friends and influence people

Rating – 8/10


Published in 1936, this is a timeless classic that has served millions of people. 

The basic principal is that being a decent, authentic human being will lead to people being attracted you and your message.

Dale Carnegie’s most recognised book, although written nearly 100 years ago still outsells the majority of psychology, sales and communication books even to this day. 

There are far more technical books on the market, however I think this is by far and away the best book of its kind. It comes highly recommended, for anybody who wants a brief overview of the text, I will leave it below.

Principals Overview

  • Fundamental techniques in handling people:
    • Don’t criticise, condemn or complain
    • Give honest and sincere appreciation to the listener
    • Arouse an eager want
  • Six ways to make people like you:
    • Become genuinely interested in other people
    • Smile
    • Remember a person’s name is the most important thing
    • Be a good listener – encourage others to talk about themselves
    • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
    • Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
  • Win people to your way of thinking:
    • Only way to get from an argument is to avoid it
    • Show respect for others’ opinions (never say “you’re wrong”)
    • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
    • Begin in a friendly way
    • Get the other person saying “Yes, yes” immediately
    • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
    • Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers
    • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
    • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
    • Appeal to the nobler motives
    • Dramatise your ideas
    • Throw down a challenge
  • Change  people without arousing resentment
    • Begin with praise and honest appreciation
    • Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
    • Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person
    • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
    • Let the other  man save his face
    • Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
    • Give a man a fine reputation to live up to
    • Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct
    • Make the other person happy about doing the thing that you suggest