I was a professional football (soccer) player for 12 months between 2010/2011. My whole life had been geared toward becoming a footballer, and I had succeeded by 18. Within 12 months, it had gone, and although I had a couple of injury issues, it was ultimately my responsibility. I didn’t have the mental strength to handle the various pressures.
I’m naturally quite introverted. I struggled with the energy that surrounded professional sports and the mountains of illusions that come with the lifestyle.
At 19, I was released at the end of my contract. I expected it, but it was also a big tear to my ego. The pain, suffering and loss of identity drove me to start my health and fitness business and devour as many personal development books as I could get my hands on.
My identity had been completely shattered and my life lacked any sense of meaning. Everything I was, I wasn’t anymore. Consuming information temporarily filled a void. Football wasn’t the focal point or avoidance mechanism anymore; it was knowledge and business. Constantly working and reading gave me a superficial sense of meaning, but it worked at the time and gave me a tremendous foundation to build on.
Awakening And Transformation
The most noticeable transformation was the change of my inner landscape that comes with psychological and spiritual development.
Naturally, the suffering that came along with the destruction of identity led me to seek to elevate that suffering somehow. It’s a fairly a common path, very well trodden with plenty of pitfalls.
This seeking drive led me to study many psycho-spiritual development models by people such as Ken Wilber (Integral Theory), Christopher Cowan and Don Beck (Spiral Dynamics), Susan Cook-Greuter (Ego Development Theory), Dr David Hawkins (Map Of Consciousness), and ‘Thusness’ (7 Stages Of Enlightenment).
I was determined to discover the truths behind the spiritual traditions which led me into consciousness research, history, esotericism/occultism, psychology, holistic well-being and healing modalities, philosophy, and shamanism.
I’ve also participated in numerous plant medicine ceremonies, particularly Ayahuasca. In terms of consciousness expansion, I don’t think anything comes close to psychedelics as a technology, providing they are done sacredly. However, these things are not the answer to grasping the Nature of Reality; they are simply a tool for the potential embodiment of wisdom.
I’m strongly drawn to Northern European history and mythology. My soul sings with the words of wise elders who can tell stories and folklore of our ancient lineages. The Celtic and Druidic traditions are magical and hold wisdom far-reaching, and I’m blessed to live on Avalon, the beauty of the British Isles.
There is also a strong resonance with the Zen, Vedantic, mystical Christian / Islam and Western esoteric traditions. I enjoy absorbing much of this wisdom whilst recognising the answers do not lie there.
Day to Day
Along with running a couple of businesses, I write about the human experience and Truth. I have a podcast and YouTube channel where there are intriguing conversations with people. There are also videos where I share my spontaneous thoughts.
You can read about my entrepreneurial ventures here.
Thank you for reading.
“And the greatest sin is that of a man who, finding himself in a world where the sacred light of His Majesty is obscured, nevertheless determines to go on living without doing anything about it.”
– Runaway Horses